He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
