I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
