Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
