Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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