dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
