why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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