I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
