i'm lost and i look like a hooker
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
they're like a gay fantastic four
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
