There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
