My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
