Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
