Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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