My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
