Betty ford says i'm here all night
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
