If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
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