people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
