Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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