i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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