Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
