is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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