see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
