Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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