I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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