a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Why is your signature on my underwear?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
