Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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