I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
