too bad you live with your parents still
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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