I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
