I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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