He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
