I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
