its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you still have your period?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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