Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
