i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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