What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Never joke about your clitoris.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
