I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
