there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i came on her dog
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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