I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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