Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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