butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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