So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
