Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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