We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
