Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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