I think my vagina is haunted
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
