i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
