Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
