Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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