im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
