do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
