Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
